Lily Victoria Sallay

In actual news...guess what! My sister Christy and her husband Tim welcomed their new little baby girl January 4th, 2011. She was 7lbs 2.2oz, 19.5 inches long and has a head full of strawberry blond hair. Mommy, baby, and hopefully daddy are all doing well. That's about all I know. Welcome Lily!

Jo's conundrum

I've been thinking a lot about, well, me. Odd I know. I have a good life. Paradoxical but good. At first glance it's chaotic, messy, restrictive, and sometimes eclipsed by frustration, stress and an unpredictable future. A longer look reveals a lot of happy moments, great conversations, freedom, laughter and love that binds us closer than we've ever been. There is so much that I want to be and do, and yet it feels like there's so much that I'm doing without anything really happening. I don't want to belittle my family. The question is, how do I make sense out of it all?

Bear with me, I'm not sure what I'm exactly trying to say but hopefully this post will enlighten us all without boring anyone too much.

I have pretty much the same routine everyday. It's not one I planned, or even one that I like, but it seems to be the one I always fall into no matter what. I wake up and then I take care of Ethan. If I make time for something else it's cleaning. Luckily, I'll get to spend an hour or two with Derek before we get ready for bed, and then I wait for it to start all over again. If I do get some time to myself I usually take a nap, balance the 'business' part of our lives or end up daydreaming about our future home because I'm too tired to do anything else. I sat down last night and thought about this past year: what my goals were, what's happened, what I've accomplished. I have all these ideas for doing things but they never get done and it's so disheartening. I had to cry when I realized that through an entire year I can't think of one goal I've reached or accomplished. Even when I think I'm making progress with one of them I end up back a square one. I don't want to be depressing, bear with me a little longer.

Now, I can hear the voices in my head start to make excuses for me (it's funny, they usually sound like those whom I love most). Excuses like: you've had a really stressful year (or 5 really stressful years); you've had a huge lifestyle change; you've moved to another state; Ethan's almost two and he's learning and changing so much, of course you're not going to have time to do much; you've been sick for almost three months now no wonder you're not doing much. I've been kindly given these excuses by myself as well as others, but I'm not satisfied with them. As soon as one starts to echo through my head my rational, heartless brain steps in to reason it away until I have no more wiggle room. I've gotten really good advice about how to balance my life and I'm trying to apply those parts that I think will help but I seem to get lost somehow and end up back with the same old routine.


This mass of confusion is my present state, and has been for a very long time. I'm tired of it and I've decided to get rid of it. Now, while I'm still working on implementing a new schedule for myself this is what I'm going to do right now:

Stop. Take a deep breath. Say a sincere prayer. Listen for a moment. Go and do something worth doing.

I guess from here it's just one step at a time.

Abbott Offspring Goodness

I could just talk about everything that I'm grateful for, but I don't think anyone would have the time to read it. Ethan certainly wouldn't give me the time to write it. But we do have good news! Derek got a job! He was hired the day after my last post, so our hope was well placed. The hours are good, he always gets Sundays off, he's home in the evening and he makes enough that we should be caught up with our finances hopefully around Christmas. Yippee!! Oh, if only I could adequately explain how wonderful it is that Derek has a job. Well, it just is! This probably isn't Derek's final career destination (hopefully not) but it's nice to be standing on a solid step instead of wondering how long the safety harness is going to hold out. Thank you our wonderful families for not letting us crash and burn!

This also means, that while we are finally able to dig ourselves out of a hole, we will not be able to fly to North Carolina for Christmas. You can probably imagine how I feel about that, so I won't try and illustrate.

Gushy enough yet?! Well hang on, things are about to get a whole lot cuter. Now, we all know how horrible Derek and I are at taking pictures. My sister Ashley would have kicked my butt long ago, if her legs could reach that far for our lack of photo sessions. Of course, she could probably make them reach just from shear sass, but I digress. Thankfully, Momma Abbott is here to save the day, and my bum. Applause. Through her efforts (and Derek's of course) we now have more pictures, and even a video or two, to post of Ethan in all of his 18 month old glory. So, here:

 I wish I could record everything that Ethan does, well almost everything, so I wouldn't have to feel so bad for not remembering to tell y'all about it all. He's doing so much, and he seems so grown up all of the sudden that I hardly know what to tell y'all anyway.
I know you've already scrolled down just to look at the pictures so I'll be done typing for the moment. Go ahead, look and enjoy.

Whew! Too much? The last two are short videos taken with Derek's cell phone. Derek's dad found some old walkie-talkies and we decided to try them out. Sorry the videos are so blurry, they where pretty small originally. We've finally toddler-proofed Ethan's room so he has somewhere to run amuck, and that's a happy thought for all of us. That's about it for right now. We're looking forward to Thanksgiving with family (the first in three years!) but I'm actually missing the snow. It has finally cooled down here, but I think I've been spoiled by a colorful Autumn and snowy white Winter not to miss them now. Oh well, there's always next year. Happy Thanksgiving!

November with the Abbotts!

There has been so much going on, and so much that has happened, that I hardly know where to begin. Random side note: If I start to sound a little too proper or Jane Austenish, it's because I've just finished Emma and am now on Persuasion. Aah, the joys of a feminine writer when one wants a pleasant love story to calm the troubled mind.

Derek, Ethan and I are now living in Arizona. Derek's parents have been kind enough to take us in while things are so unsettled. They let us bring our cat and they're even submitting themselves to our gluten-free cooking! How cool is that! We don't know how long we will be here, and while we like being with them, I hope it won't be long. Halloween has come and gone and for the first time I did absolutely nothing for it. Not even a sad attempt at some scary goodies (that usually frighten more for their pun-like nature than being worth dying for). Being new here, knowing NO ONE besides Derek's parents, having dry 90-degree weather, and the holiday taking me almost by surprise took it's tole this year. Derek helped his mom paint a sign for the "fish pond" for their ward party, we watched some random Halloween flicks (both old, new and corny), we enjoyed some leftover candy, and made some wicked chocolate-chip brownies. Sadly, that was all. Derek wanted to make up a little for it by making and putting up some very last minute decorations on Sunday morning, but by then I figured it was too late. How I miss Autumn weather. Hmmmm....one day I will have it again.

Derek hasn't been able to find work yet, but we're hopeful that he will find a job that's exactly what we need very soon. Until then we're doing what we can and grateful for all the help that our families give us. I must admit that it gets really frustrating to feel that everyone has a job but you, but besides putting those jealous feelings aside, we're trying to do all we can. So, for now, we're still in the same holding pattern as before, just in a new location. At least there is a change of scenery.

Besides disappointment on the job front, day-to-day life is good. We try and make ourselves useful and worth having here and we're slowly learning how. Derek and I find things to work on, and Ethan finds things to get into that he's not supposed to. Derek's trying to figure out how to turn some of his ideas into a small business. He's busy planning, designing and researching, but everything we've tried so far has hit a wall. Of course, this is along side of tedious and frustrating job hunting. I'm still working out, and while I think I'm making progress with my weight-loss plan, it's slow. Maybe I shouldn't have made those brownies. I'm also reading, probably more than I should, trying to stick to some kind of schedule, and trying to get back into art. Guess what! We get to watch Big Bang on Thursday nights now! No more waiting for it to come out on DVD. Sweet!

And now for Ethan. How do I cover all the things he does now? If this post wasn't already so long I would try and be a little more detailed, but for now I'll try and remember some highlights. Ethan will be 18 months on the 11th and he is definitely going to Nursery next Sunday. Maybe then we can stay for all of church. He likes to use his imagination. He plays make-believe and I'm never really quite sure what he's imagining until he tells me to eat something that's not there. He's talking up a storm, though we can't understand what he says, and apparently he loves to tell jokes because he laughs at himself all the time. He's started singing. At first it was timid and quiet but he's slowly started to get louder. Last Sunday he sang along, as well as he could, with the hymns in Sacrament. He likes to dance too, but he won't do it if anyone is looking at him. We have to catch him out of the corner of our eyes. He likes to tell us what to do (this includes bossing the cats around), and loves to play with daddy. He's still teething and I think all of his teeth are floaters. It's so annoying! He loves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and loves to watch Jeeves & Wooster. He has a huge temper but he is also the sweetest little boy I have ever met. I haven't even really got started, but I'll leave it here for now.

Here's a recap for you. We're in Arizona - hate it but love Derek's parents -, Ethan's amazing, Derek's working hard to find work, Polly's still alive and I'm still addicted to Etsy and chocolate. Ta Da!

The Bald Chicken

Unfortunately, I have no big news to share. Our situation is pretty much the same as it was before. We seem to be in a holding pattern, but we have hope it will change for the better soon. In the meantime, I thought I would share one of the random moments of our lives.

We've been trying to economize lately and that included pulling the reigns on my culinary experiments. Sometimes good food can be expensive. So, Derek and I decided that for a week, or at least a couple of days, we would only use what we already had to make dinner. Tonight it's scrambled eggs with bacon and spinach mixed in. Sweet! I guess I could have made spinach omelets but ,oddly enough, I have no idea how and was too lazy to look up a recipe. Last night, however, did not go as planned.

We happened to have chicken strips in the freezer, and Gluten-free bread crumbs (basically cornmeal) left over from a recipe tried a couple of weeks before. What about chicken fingers?! I haven't been able to fry anything since I stopped using wheat flour and, man, something fried sounded really good.  Fried chicken!!!! How I miss fried chicken. The golden, crispy skin covering moist, plump meat seasoned and fried to perfection. The salty crunch of the first bite as it revels in your mouth. The joy of licking your fingers clean from a tasty chicken leg! Well, chicken fingers, but it's fried and it's chicken right? Sadly, I must wait a little longer for such enjoyment. I very lovingly breaded the chicken, thoughts of crispy joy dancing about in my head, and slowly began to notice that little corn capsules were forming around the tips of my fingers. If I didn't' know it was corn I would have thought it was thick, liquid concrete with an amazing amount of crazy glue mixed in. No matter, flour does the same thing right? That's where the similarities ended. While the chicken looked very nice breaded and laying on the plate, once they were in the oil they stuck to everything. The sides, the bottom, the fork, the chicken finger next to it, and if there was anything else to stick to I'm sure they would have just to spite me. By the time they were cooked and I was done wrestling them to the plate, most of the breading was gone, leaving behind huge bald spots that reminds one of a vulture with a bad molt. Well, maybe not, but it was pretty sad looking. As there wasn't enough breading left to classify the chicken as fried or fingers, we needed to figure something else to do with it. Thankfully, Derek had the solution. We had Jasmine rice, corn and peas & carrots, so we cut up the chicken, cooked the rice, warmed the veggies and combined them all into a happy bowl of goodness! The slight sweetness of the rice and what was left of the breading mixed with the textures and the veggies and rice were wonderful! Success! An enjoyable meal was had by all! So, sometimes the unplanned is far yummier than sad attempts.

The moral: cornmeal bread crumbs are not for frying, only baking. Oh, and Derek is a genius.

The End.

A little stressful

After a sabbatical from communication on the Internet, and consequently the world at large, I have returned! It's therapeutic to unplug for a while, and I quite enjoyed it, but the season has shifted and it's once again time to rejoin the gazillion data packets that connect me with those I love.

Our little family is at an interesting, and inherently stressful, turning point in our lives. We know that something big is about to happen (nothing can happen right now that wouldn't be a huge change for us) but we don't know when and we don't know what. So, we really don't know anything except this: Derek graduates in 5 1/2 days (Saturday included) and we may, or may not, have to move. That's it, the end. Derek has been, and is, applying for jobs like crazy, looking at possible housing options, and trying to find financial support but he's also trying to focus on his finals. I'm trying to do EVERYTHING and I'm not always helpful about it, and Ethan is trying to live with two crazy adults posing as his parents while attacking Polly at random times of the day. We're coping well and we're happy, but we have our moments.

Ethan, besides dealing with all the random stress, is showing more of his personality everyday. He's so much fun! He loves to play games, blow kisses, throw things around, dump everything on the floor, run, tickle, laugh, pretty much everything. There was a while he would just walk backwards until he hit something. Then he would lean back as far as he could and throw his arms out and grab whatever was there as if he was thrown there by some invisible rubber band. That, or he would walk backwards, in circles, for ten minutes at a time. Now his favorite things are tickle fights with daddy.
There are a lot of other kids in the complex not too much older than Ethan, so I take him out as often as I can to play. The problem is that while Ethan is very people oriented (he would rather talk and play with you than toys) the other kids are very toy oriented. This leads to a scene where Ethan will go up to another toddler and try to have a conversation (or whatever a toddler version of that would be). Instead of really reacting the other toddler will try and take a toy if Ethan has one, or go somewhere to look for one if he doesn't. Ethan gets confused but not mad, and I like that he keeps trying. If the kids don't play with him he usually starts interacting with their parents instead. Public School will definitely be interesting.
He seems to get smarter everyday. Sadly, that usually means he's trying to find ways around Daddy and I telling him 'no'. I can't describe how cute he is! Oh, I love him and instead of going on and on, like I'm doing, I'll end now. When I have more time I'll take and post pictures.

Stay tuned because somethings gotta give...soon.

A Dangerous Place to Sit

If you have come to visit our little haven you know that, until recently, we had been harboring a dangerous item. Though unassuming in appearance (I did buy it some camouflage after all), it was only a matter of time before our couch turned on us.

We got the couch for free through some wonderful friends of ours. Only time, and coincidence, revealed that its possible previous life included years of abuse from college-aged boys, and it showed. Still, it was doing its job, and being tight on cash, a couch cover was the best fix for the moment. The heinous fabric and dubious stains were covered up and almost forgotten. Almost. I knew that as Ethan got bigger and more mobile the couch could prove a hazard, but I tried to be content. Finally, the time for action came. The other day we found a scratch on Ethan's arm we couldn't account for. We looked everywhere for what could have caused it. I even interrogated the cat until she was reduced to a whimpering ball of fur (to bad that part's not true). Then Derek looked under the couch to find weapons hidden in the dark that seemed related to the goedendag or morningstar. All of the support beams had fallen to the ground and each one was studded with more nails than thought necessary for an essentially peaceful piece of furniture. While Ethan took a nap Derek flipped the couch to see if he could replace the beams, or at least, remove the danger of the nails. It looked like similar repair jobs had been attempted way too many times before (the image of a cheap landlord comes to mind) and the more Derek tried to make things better the faster the couch started to fall apart.

Necessity demanded a newer, safer couch. I cannot say that I was surprised, or upset for that matter, but as these things generally do, it came at a financially inconvenient time. I won't bore you with the details of our shopping exploits; but I will tell you that, after much debate, I was able to talk Derek out of buying one from D.I. I won't lie, it was a close one. Not too long after, we found a quality couch we both liked and that fit into the low end of our budget. So, I got accent pillows! How cool is that! It's like we're grown-ups! We were even blessed with Ben and his great moving know-how that got it from Idaho Falls to here without a single blemish! Sweetness! I took a couple of pictures so I could show it off a bit. Fabulous isn't it?!





Warning: Instead of being taken to the dumpster like I'd hoped, I've been informed that our old, very dangerous, couch (maybe at no fault of Ben's or Derek's) was taken to, and accepted at, D.I. Beware!