After prayer, thought, conversations and a lot of research, I've decided to go gluten-free. If not for my mom, I wouldn't do it at all. As of now, its only a trial period, but I have a feeling I may just keep going with it. Last weekend we were able to drive up to the Boise area to visit some of Derek's family. Yay! We had a wonderful time! I saw this as not only an opportunity to see people we loved, but also as a last hurrah with the gluten-infested foods I adore. I ate a huge bacon cheeseburger, Krispy Kreme doughnuts, cookies, cake and possibly anything else I could get my hands on. I felt tired and pretty crappy the whole time, but my taste buds were experiencing some separation anxiety. On the following Monday, my detox began.
I know its been less than a week, but I must confess that I have already slipped up. After cleaning out the cabinets of most of our gluteny foods (don't worry, Derek chose what he wanted to keep for his own enjoyment) and making up gluten-free menus, I was drawn to the snack cabinet. Having already cleared everything I could eat out, moving it to another, safer location and leaving the rest of the treasure trove for Derek's leisure, I couldn't help taking a peek inside. Big mistake! What did I see? A glance of Double Stuff Oreos and Chunky Chips A'Hoy cookies. It was less than a second, but it was enough. No one here is naive enough to believe that old habits, cravings and indulgences die easily. I saw visions of cookies for the rest of the day. By nightfall I had talked Derek into eating them with me, "just this one last time." After two days of eating no gluten, I forced half a package of each kind of cookie down my throat and into my intestines. I think I have learned my lesson.
The most obvious sign of my bodily revolt is my skin. I won't go into details, but images of leapers wrapped in linen seem to me a possible relief or camouflage until I eventually heal. I feel like a child that only learns about fire by getting burned. Thankfully, its not third degree burns, just a reminder. So, I started over again. As of Wednesday April 14th, 2010, and even to this day (such a span of time, I know) I am gluten-free, and I plan on remaining so for the comprehensible future. It's too soon to tell any major differences, but I do feel more awake than I have since Ethan was born. Hopefully it just gets better from here.
Derek got me a bread machine for our anniversary and I'm so excited! There's a line of gluten-free bread mixes I can make in my wonderful machine, so I'm eating my way through them and finding ones I like. I also have a grocery guide and a great recipe book for baking (thanks mom!) that are proving to be wonderful investments. All-in-all, going gluten-free seems very possible and less torturous than previously feared. The more I think about it, the more I experience, the more I come to the realization that I can do this. As my mind becomes reconciled to this shout of affirmation, the more my body tells me I want to do this! This is definitely a step in the right direction, and that is a good feeling.